You know the ones…everything is going well – you pick them up, there are hugs and smiles.
They are in such a hurry to leave, and as soon as you get them in the car, something happens, and boom, there are tears, wailing, more tears.
The first thing I want you to know, is that you are not alone.
And if you have sons, you would have probably experienced this more.
Firstly why does this occur?
From an energetic perspective, our kids have been trying to hold it in all day. Trying to sit still. Do as they are told. Stick to the time frames.
And the truth is our current school system, is really challenging for kids – especially boys.
They learn best by being outside, using their hands to make things and create mess. through exploring, climbing and adventuring in their surroundings.
and so many mainstream schools, just don’t fulfil these learning needs for kids.
There is more working and less playing.
And so by the time it comes to home time, they are ready to explode like a soft drink can thats been shaken – all day.
And in the car, finally they have the space to feel safe to open up and let it all out.
So see this as a blessing.
That they feel safe and supported in your company to let these big emotions out.
That they feel safe to be this vulnerable and expressive in your company is a beautiful gift.
The truth is letting your child express their feelings, supporting them as they do and giving them full permission is such a beautiful gift for your child.
And sometimes you just have to let that happen.
And so here are some ways that I have used to help my child after school/kindy:
- Have a yummy healthy snack ready for them to go, before they hop in the car (I now with my kids h-angry is the number one cause of our after school meltdowns), and if its hot – some nice cold water.
- Let them take off their shoes, socks, shirt, hat – anything that is going to help them feel more comfortable.
- With shoes off, let them stand on the grass for a bit
- Park a little further away, and enjoy a nice leisurely walk back to the car – preferably with shoes off (although if its really hot, avoid this one)
- Give yourself penalty of time for pick up – rushing with make them feel more flustered.
- Let them have a play on the school equipment – to get all of that built up energy out.
- Crank the car aircon up high – or if its cold – the heater.
- Put on some soothing music – for my family its Sacred Earth, or Native American flute music, shamanic drumming – seems to relax them immediately.
- Check in with your own energy – if you are feeling flustered, stressed or uptight – your kids will pick up on this and release it for you.
- And if you have done all of this, and your child still has a melt down, understand that perhaps they just need that release.
If it happens it will probably happen when you are driving.
Take some deep breaths, and talk to them…reassure them that you know they have had a big day, that its ok to let it all out, that they have done so well to hold it all in. Keep talking to them. Breathing and supporting them as best you can.
Know that them having a release, is in no way a reflection of you as a mother (but if it starts to bring up feelings for you – these need to be acknowledged and worked through – a topic for another day).
Gently call in your angels/spirit guides/fairies/unicorns – who ever you and your kids resonate with. Surround your child with a bubble of pink loving light, and blue cooling light, and keep sending them love.
And keep breathing and sending them love.
And if you need to pull the car over, to hold space for them and help them through they big feelings – jus to it.
Do what ever you need to in the moment for both you and your child.
Have you experienced these? Do these tips and ideas help? Do you have any other tips that have helped you through?
I’d love to know – please let me a comment below. And if you liked this post, please share it with your friends and family.
Love and gratitude
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