transforming shame with fun and laughter

I come out of the back room, after locking up and think, “that smells like poo”.
I check in my kids room and the smell gets stronger.
My babies have been hit with gastro.
I turn to see my daughter on the toilet….”mum I did a little poo in my bed”
Her head drops down down.
I see shame filling her.

My stomach tightens and my heart sinks.
And I think “have I done this?”.

My thoughts start to race.
“That mind chatter which tells me I’m a terrible mother.
That I’m fucking up my child.

Its about my daughter.

I go to her and tell her  – “it’s ok, it happens”.
“You are growing up so fast – lets get you cleaned up”.
She smiles shyly through her hair.

We clean her up.
As I change her sheet she lies on the floor, so desperately to climb back into her bed.
I throw he sheet on, with a towel underneath.
It’s too late to worry about tucking
I think that I’m a bad mum – again.
Then think honestly in comparison to who?

As my daughter climbs into bed, I get a sense that she still feels uneasy about what has just happened.<
I explain about the bug in her tummy.
Then I share an experience from my child hood……
“When I was little we were going to the fun fare.
I needed to fart, and when I did I pooed my pants.”

I can still remember that moment.

We both start to laugh.
“And then granny had to clean it up.”

We both laugh some more.

“I was a little girl and I though it was a fart, but it was a poo.”

We both laugh again.

She says “did you really do that”…and I say “yes”.

She smiles at me, that glistening in her eye, as if to say thanks mum.
We snuggle and I tell her it’s time to sleep, it’s late.
And with that I leave, feeling like in that moment I gave my child and myself exactly what we needed.

This may not be the ‘right’ approach according to parenting experts.
But in that moment, my intuition guided me and I listened.
In that moment it was the right approach for my child and I.
In that moment, we both laughed.

We both left a situation that could have been very icky, with a smile on our faces.
And the last thought that went through my daughters mind before she went to sleep
was one of fun, laughter and love.

And that I know is the best medicine.

Fun and laughter are the best medicine.
And if she remembers this time with fun and laughter, instead of shame and sadness –
Then for tonight my job as a carer and nurturer of his divine soul is done.
I’m the first to admit that I never always get things “right”.
I make a lot of mistakes.
And you know what. That’s ok.
It really is.
Because I’m learning just as she is.
And isn’t learning supposed to be fun?

So today I ask you, how can you make this journey of motherhood fun?
How can you bring fun and laughter into the most icky-est of times?
How can you be vulnerable and honest with your child?
Let her see the little girl inside of you who doesn’t always have the answers but tries no mater what? Leave me a comment below – I’d love to know.

Love and gratitude







And if you want more than anything to understand what your child needs. To know what is going on. To know what your child is trying to tell you. To have that deep connection, understanding and relationship that you dream of with your child. To parenting from a place of connection and peace. Being able to hear and trust your mothers intuition. And nurture and encourage your child’s own spiritual gifts. I’m ready to hold you and your child. I’m ready to support you and your child. And I invite you to see how we can work together here.